Why Do We Teach Our Children Not To Lie? (Part 1)

I find it extremely peculiar that adults are constantly teaching children not to lie. Everywhere I go I find people trying to convince little children that telling the truth is always the right thing to do. For instance I was shopping in a grocery store the other day (where I actually thought of writing about this topic) and I noticed a rambunctious kid running around the pop and chips isle. His mother while busy doing her shopping seems to be oblivious to the fact that he keeps grabbing things off the shelf. At one point he just dropped a bag of chips and accidentally stepped on it. While I found all this a little amusing, I was thinking to myself, this mom really needs to discipline her kid. After about two minutes of making a huge mess in the isle she finally turns around only to be shocked by the crushed bags of chips spread out upon the floor. With a stern face she approaches her son and asks him, "did you make this mess?"

At this point I'm thinking oh, oh kid you got yourself into a big mess (no pun intended).

What was really funny though was the fact that he started to nod his head and said he didn't do it. Her immediate response was, "don't you lie to me." After which she sternly reminded him what happens to liars. Needless to say he finally cracked and the tears began to flow. It's funny how we teach children not to lie in their everyday situations, yet we lie for several things on a daily basis in our adult lives. We lie to others mostly, but on occasion we even lie to ourselves.

Ever since childhood we are taught to be truthful, never to lie, or do anything dishonest. Our parents instill these values in us as children, while at the same time living in a world where lies are the cornerstone for success. We lie for power, we lie for money, we lie for friendship, we lie to escape reality, and we constantly lie to avoid the truth because the truth is too hard to bear. Why then do we insist on teaching our children to always tell the truth? It seems to me we should be teaching them how to be better liars to survive in this world. No longer are the days where qualities like honesty, integrity and kindness will get you very far in life. In fact I can only count on one hand the number of people whom I would consider successful bearing those qualities. One hand! Come to think of it I don’t think there was a point in human history where these qualities got people very far. Yet we strive to teach our children to endeavor for those qualities.

I think we are a very contradictory species. Do as I say not as I do, right? Wrong! Children are a product of their upbringing. That means no matter how many times you tell them not to lie, they will end up lying multiple times in their lives. Some of them more than others and some will make it a cornerstone of their values once they get a taste of success as a result of it. After all we learn from a very young age within the foundation of our society like religion, law and yes, even science, on how to lie.

Even today in the age of science and technology religion is a daily part of peoples lives. People are so devout to their religion that they cannot imagine living a life without it. However are their religious views based on truth or a lie? For example in most religions we are taught not to lie, cheat, steal, harm or betray another. Yet daily normal people and even religious clergy are committing those same acts. The religious husband who cheats on his wife, the religious wife who steals from her husband, the religious school teacher who molests their student, the religious salesman who lies to his customer, the religious postal worker who guns down people who are innocent. These are all religious people but do not follow the basic principles of their respective religion. Besides the obvious, religion in and of itself is not perfect in it’s principles and practices. For example in the Buddhist tradition it is generally not accepted to take a life. That includes the life of animals and even insects. Yet there are followers of this tradition who take human life in certain parts of the world because their concept of Buddhism allows them to do so. Some might argue that these people are not practicing real Buddhism. Well tell that to your children. Explain to them why our religion teaches one thing but there are people who do things against the basic principles of our religion. Explain to them why we our selves are not following those principles in our daily lives. In Zoroastrianism one of the oldest religions to exist, there are three basic principles to follow. Good thoughts, good words, good deeds. Really simple and straight forward, right? Why then are non Zoroastrians not allowed to become practicing Zoroastrians. Are Good thoughts, good words and good deeds only doable by Zoroastrians. And what is so good about excluding others from the beauty of this religion. The idea of exclusion in and of itself is a bad thought is it not? To say, “you cannot become a Zoroastrian if you are not born into the religion”, are bad words, are they not? To physically exclude people from and not consider them Zoroastrian would be considered a bad deed, would it not? This is a clear contradiction of religious principles. Like this, all religions have contradictions in their principles. So how do we expect our children to tell the truth when they are lied to constantly by the principles of their religion?

How about the foundation upon which we base our peaceful society to prevent anarchy, our legal system? Why do we teach our children not to lie when we do it everyday within our legal system? Plaintiffs lie, defendants lie, lawyers lie and even judges and jurors lie. In fact the very principles of the legal system are to seek out the truth and enforce justice. However we all know that is not the case, as there are always loop holes in the law to give the liars an advantage. We create a justice system that really does not protect the innocent. Yet we tell our children to follow the rule of law. When they see the legal system failing them for the first time, whether in court or out on the streets they realize that the truth shall not set them free, but a lie might.

More on our politicians and our captains of industry in Part 2 of this segment......